Mom is still Mom

Mom and I are very close- we talk about work, life, relationships, etc. No topic is off limits. She knows that when I'm feeling down, a trip to TJ Maxx and some showtunes will cheer me up. I know that she needs a Diet Coke (preferrably with pellet ice), from a fountain machine, and to rub Donald's tummy.

As close as we are, at times we can get on each other's nerves. I am habitually late while she is punctual. Mom's dog voice drives me up the wall sometimes (others it's not so bad). I always forget to call when I get home from visiting Spartanburg and I always arrive later than I say I am going to....you get the picture. Nothing big, we usually just tease one another and move on.

The other day, when driving to get mom to her apointment, I was running late by her terms (you must get to all doctor's appointments 30 min. early).  She called me no less than 3x to ask what mile marker I was at. Then for good measure, had my dad called too. I.was.irritated. Then, I was overcome with sadness, driving up I-26 crying for being irritated at mom when she has cancer. I mean---what if one day she isn't there to check my trip progress? I felt so guilty for spending even a few minutes being frustrated with her. I got to their house, and mom explained that arriving early is something she CAN control in terms of her treatment, with so many more question marks. We arrived on time, but I will do my best to be early next time, especially since I understand why it is so important to her.

That is the weird thing about this process. Mom is still my friend, confidant, etc. At the same time, we will still annoy and irritate each other at times, like all mothers and daughters do. And that's OK. Facing such a scary disease has made us all so much more thankful for family, and I am so grateful for mom and our relationship. BUT, I need to remember that I am not a bad person if her dog voice irritates me (***I have free reign to tease mom about her dog voice, and I am pretty sure mine gives her a run for her money).

Alright, ending rambling.

Mom is doing pretty well since getting the chemo. She felt a little naseaus over the weekend and has a sore throat, but generally feels OK and is out and about.  This week it is back to steroids and she has some additional lab work. Her next chemo appointment is Dec. 22. I am amazed at her positive attitude and hope that she continues to feel OK.

Thanks for continued prayers, calls, notes, etc.- they certainly provide comfort!